You reap what you sow

My path is littered
with so many sad mistakes.
Not all of them mine.

And I mean all of them.

I can take a lot
but some days break me down hard.
I need all the hugs.

True blue.

Romancing myself:
The more I get to know me,
the more I like me.

Re-thinking my last Saturday night in town.

A big farewell bash.
Awesome celebration or
huge anti-climax?

Bridges built, not burned.

As the door closes,
gently framing my old life,
my heart breaks open.

Leaving but not gone.

Don't worry baby.
I will leave some fairy dust
and mischief behind.

In just two weeks.

My life is contained
in shockingly few boxes
stacked, ready to go.

Big change, big realizations.

Stretch the ties that bind.
Some hold fast but others break -
insubstantial webs.

Looking forward, going back.

I see the old place
with a new, fresh perspective.
My heart has gone west.

On the verge.

Calm, cool, collected.

The courage of conviction

makes my steps so sure.

Running up a learning curve.

I'll take my distance
from indifference, from judgment.
Keep up if you can.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Let the silence stretch.
But when it lengthens, persists,
do not be surprised.

Indefinitely deactivated.

Facebook vacation.
Like clear sky, no traffic noise:
a mental road trip.

Remind me why I'm bothering?

The more time passes

the more I become convinced

I ask for too much. 

Homesick.

In the inbetweens
I miss my old stomping grounds.
Nothing holds me here.

An utter absence of feeling.

Where my heart should be

I feel a cold, heavy stone.

So much nothingness. 

I might have been eating a bit too fast.

The delicate task
of extracting an almond
now lodged in my bra.

The sun is shining! Yay! I'm at work! Boo!

Absolute torture
to be stuck behind a desk
on a day like this!

I don't want to be right about this.

They disappear, dodge,

abandon, disappoint, hurt. 

I observe, wounded. 

Cut from the same cloth.

For Miss Vu.

Beautiful and bold,
two spirits breaking open.
We walk together.

Alone but not lonely.

Learning to resist
hanging out with my smartphone.
Savour solitude.

Not a haiku.

On the back of each leg, I have a tattoo of a rose. On my right leg is a red rose with a banner that says "Zetta."On my left leg is a pink rose. Its banner says "Zaara." My mother on my right - my dominant leg - because she gives me strength. My daughter on my left leg because she gives me direction.

Today, as I honour the paths women around the world have walked before me, the paths they walk with me, and the paths they'll walk when I'm gone, I'm expressing particular gratitude to these two women who help me walk my own path with courage, passion and strength.

And to all the women in my life - thank you for sharing your perspectives, your strength and your laughter. My world is a richer, friendlier and more beautiful place because you are in it.

Happy International Women's Day.

Sometimes I wish I were better at fooling myself.

Fear makes the words stick

hard and sharp-edged in my throat.

I can't make this work.

Breaking open.

A day tinged with the
softest ache. Melancholy
buoyed by growing hope.

Would you like fries with that?

Few things are more bleak
than feeling sadface fragile
in a mall food court.

Giving you the lip.

This weather is gross.
I have the grumpiest face.
I need a hug, please.

No rest for the wicked.

Feeling so deeply
the dark and dissonant itch
of shedding my skin.

A snake eating its own tail.

I choke back tears and
know I'm fighting another
goddamn sad attack.

Be Mine

I find romance is
most romantic when it is
not on a schedule.

Billie. Edith. Judy. Amy. Whitney.

The silence after

a beautiful voice rings out 

is the saddest sound. 

An apt contradiction in terms.

Some lies go so deep

even the teller is fooled.

That's sincere bullshit. 

Daddy's little girl.

He's my protector, 

my guide and my biggest fan. 

Who needs a white knight?

To thine own self be true.

Today's reward is

unbridled optimism.

Damn, I'm powerful.

Motherhood brings out the best in me.

I kiss her soft cheek,
Whisper goodnight and I know
My life is lovely.

Fresh start.

Feet firm under me.
Refreshed focus, renewed drive.
I'll never settle.

Homecoming.

If I were smarter
I'd have left my house spotless.
The laundry mocks me.